Jokes
 
On the way home from the first day of school, the father asked his son, "What did you do at school today?"

The little boy shrugged his shoulders and said, "Nothing".

Hoping to draw his son into conversation, the father persisted and said, "Well, did you learn about any numbers, study certain letters, or maybe a particular color?"

The perplexed child looked at his father and said, "Daddy, didn't you go to school when you were a little boy?"
Young Larry stopped by the corner grocery store and read the following list to the clerk:

10 pounds sugar at $1.25 a pound
4 pounds coffee at $1.50 a pound
2 pounds butter at $1.10 a pound
2 bars soap at $.83 each

"How much does that come to?" asked Larry.

"Twenty-two dollars and thirty-six cents."

"If I gave you three ten dollar bills, how much change would I get?" said the boy.

"Seven dollars and sixty-four cents," stated the clerk who appeared to be irritated by all the questions.

Larry said, as he disappeared through the door, "I don't want to buy the items...that's our arithmetic lesson for tomorrow, and I needed some help with it."
Q: Why did the turtle cross the road?
A: To get to the Shell station!
Q: Why do birds fly South?
A: Because it's too far to walk.
Q: Why do hummingbirds hum?
A: Because they don't know the words.
Q: Why was the crow perched on a telephone wire?
A: He was going to make a long-distance caw.
Q: Why do hens lay eggs?
A: If they dropped them, they'd break.
Q: Why don't they play poker in the jungle?
A: Too many cheetahs.
Q: What kind of dog tells time?
A: A watch dog.